I smiled and nodded approval as I undid a few buttons on my blouse, his strong hands traced over my big belly quite taking me by surprise at the feelings he was giving me. He softly felt around the tight skin, his wrist bracelet unknown to him rubbing along the waistband of my big knickers and sending a shiver through me. We talked for ages and caught up on all the missed years. His personality was still as I remembered, but now much more confident, a man of the world who had experienced life. I offered to make us some lunch and headed off to the kitchen. Martin popped his head round the door and asked if it was ok if he had a shower. I told him of course it was and got him a towel explaining how to get the water hot (the shower had a mind of its own and would often run cold) he giggled and said he would be ok. As it was a hot day I thought I would have a shower after him and made my way to the bedroom to change into my dressing gown. I heard the shower running and was drawn to the. That's all you could do."Everyone had been saying that to me for the past hour. I wanted to believe them, but I wasn't convinced that there wasn't something else I could have done. The friend who was like a sister to me was in surgery, possibly dying, and I felt like it was my fault.Tears welled up inside me, but they wouldn't come out. Since going into the nurse mode while taking care of Joyie, I'd been unable to function in anything other than the calm collected manner that mimicked Mom's when she's handling a crisis.The minute the detective was gone, Mrs. Adkins came over and held out her arms to me. When I stood up, she hugged me tightly. Holding me, she kissed my head and whispered, "None of this is your fault, Sweetie."I saw Dr. Blackmon walk through the door. He had pulled his surgical mask down and I could tell from the look on his face that things weren't good. When he said, "Chief and Mrs. Adkins, I'm sorry," I made a bee-line for the door, but Dad stepped in front of me.
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